Kirsten's Desk

I’m looking at my resume’s current form and wondering about the futility of it all.

Mission statement, my ass. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, so how do you expect me to put it here in a short, succint paragraph?

How about this instead - it’s accurate, honest, and to the point:

“Forty-something corporate whore with diverse portfolio and an uncanny ability to scare the bejeesus out of twenty-something sass-mouths. Plays a mean game of Executive Escalation Poker and isn’t afraid to crack politically incorrect with Human Resources. Totally gets the meaning of ‘deadline’. Currently seeking a role that makes her want to get out of bed in the morning, in a shop that isn’t afraid of a well-timed f-bomb. (Also, limited overhead fluorescent lighting, please.)”